This is a two-part exercise, both 500 words. This is where
you should focus solely on the beginning of the story, but do not
necessarily concern yourself with the middle or the end.
Pick a dramatic event from your life, either big or small.
(The death of a loved one, for instance, or the loss of your house key by the
railroad tracks.) Now you’re going to write this same story twice. The
first one will be where you withhold the information of what’s going to
happen and simply begin the story with a descriptive scene that leads up to the
dramatic event. The opening line should read something like, “One day I was
walking home from school along the railroad tracks.” This should then be
followed by all the sensory details that were covered from module 2. What was
the weather like? Could you hear the sound of the train? You can include as
much detail and scene as you like, but it is imperative that you at least get
to the start of the “dramatic event” before the end of your 500 words, even if
it’s in the final sentence.
Now I want you to write 500 words about the very same event,
but here you will establish the tension immediately and tell the reader
what is going to happen in the first line. “When I was twelve years old I lost
my house key in the woods by the railroad tracks.” Since you’ve given that
opening line, what context must follow in order to get the reader up to speed?
Are your parents not at home? Are the railroad tracks far away? Write the first
half of the piece with this sort of biographical information before you get
back to the dramatic event. To put it another way: begin with staging the
event, then cut away from the event, then return to it!
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One day I decided that I could not take it anymore.
I felt tired. The type of pressure that feels above the
shoulders. Like If someone was pressing me down and my head looking to the
ground. It was around 3 AM in the morning. It was starting to feel cold on the
nights due to the beginning of autumn. It was October. The bedroom in which I
was it is next to the backyard. As an old Mexican house. The windows were very
big. The bedroom had two windows. The small window has the size of a person and
the second window was three times bigger on length. Al most the length of the
wall. The second was very big. We normally leave the two bulbs providing light
for the backyard. The light got inside through the windows.
The air conditioning was on and making a normal sound. I was
on my bed just moving around unable to sleep. At that time of my life, I shared
a bed with my grandma. Mother of my mother. The sound that I had in my ears was
like the buzz of a bee. Due to the high volume of work that I had I always went
to bed late but especially today with this terrible feeling on my body. I even
went to sleep wearing jeans and a belt. Grandma always sleeps with outfits of pants
and long shirt sharing the color. She slept with her eyes looking at the roof.
I normally sleep with my mouth on the pillow, but this time.
It did not matter the position. Head and back were making a pression over my
body and especially over my soul. I do not know how or why, but I got into the
same conclusion. I need to break up with Diana. I say it out loud: “I am going
to break up with Diana”. Grandma was to my right. She was snoring and she suddenly
woke up. In that split of a second, I imagine she was going to skull me for so
many reasons. To damage a girl. To not be man enough and a bunch of terribles
ideas that my mind generated during the split of a second between her snore and
waking up.
I got a feeling on my neck anticipating the hit I was about
to receive. She is going to give me a slap on my head. Her reply was still with
her eyes closed but fully conscious. “It is okey son. If you are not happy. You
should leave her”. Then she went back to sleep. I even though she was a sleep walker
or sleep talker, the next morning she remembered everything and even talked
with my mom.
Getting back to the moment grandma gave me emotional
support. I felt how the tension on my shoulders, back, face, stomach and soul
was just released. The guilt of being a bad man disappear with the approval of
my grandmother. I immediately fell asleep.
One day I decided that I could not take it anymore. I need
it to break up with Diana.
Life had been harsh. Emotionally harsh. Dad went away. Mom
got crazy as hello. Tita die. Tita was mom of dad. Coco went away. She got
pregnant and did not say goodbye.
In a couple of weeks everything was a mess. At the age of 10
everything was a mess. I always focused on my studies. Dad is living in another
country. Mom is trying to get back her sanity. Tita dies and Coco just disappears.
My mother of my own mother, Grandma Carmen, went to live
with us. She was one of those human beings that talk much, act even more. Proactive.
She slept with me or with my brother due we only having two air conditioning units.
One for mom’s room and the other one for grandma’s room. My brother slept with mom,
and I slept with grandma. I have my own room but the heat of the summer and
even the heat in autumn does not allow someone to sleep.
I talked with grandma about leaving Diana while we were in
bed. She gave me her full support. I felt a lot of guilt, but I really wanted
to feel free, and Diana was sucking the life out of me. I really loved Diana.
She uses glasses like me all the time. Except on dates. She has long brown hair.
Straight. The way I like it. She is skinny and her skin is smooth but a little
bit oily. It make my blood go faster.
She is always asking and requiring more time from myself,
and I got tired of her. She cried because I was not with her on the bus. She cried
because I was not with her next to the class. The thing that I hated most was
kissing her. She tastes like yellow square cheese. The one used in sandwiches
for kids. I told her. She cried.
I do not want to date
her anymore. I had been with her for 13 months and each month is heavier for
me. The next morning at high school. I
was really sad and thoughtful about my romantic relationship, but besides the
good moments, unfortunately the bad moments were even more regarding. She was
not a good girlfriend, and I am a Christian man looking for a real partner. At
the morning the sun was not rise yet. Something that I have to this city. Every
morning is cold and can be feel on the chicks and the blue takes a lot of time
to go away. Mom took me to the bus stop. I arrive at all bus stops thinking of
my own issues.
At school I saw Ariel, all dressed in yellow wearing the pants
and jacket of our university’s state, yellow and blue, most yellow than blue to
be honest. He always uses a lot of gel on his hair. I told him with sadness in
my voice that I was tired of Diana. The blue morning start to disappear when my
friend hugged me and told me that everything was going to be all right.
