Memoirs-Course 2- Week 2

The Story's Path

Think about a moment in your life where you can clearly recognize at least five things that happened earlier in time with a direct impact on that moment. For instance, you might write about your first day at a new job, and consider the interview process, learning one of the main skills you'd apply in that job, graduating with the degree required for that job, etc. Consider the order of events, and how you got from one to the next. Now, in 500-750 words or so, write a version of these events where that sequencing is out of order. Keep in mind the reader's experience: what is the best way to unfurl your narrative to make your reader feel included?

Sometimes having dreams is difficult. They do not have a good background. It is normal to be walking around, just chilling, being on my own inner thoughts when suddenly a wild dream starts to infect my mind. I normally feel how this starts to reach my heart and something I make an insane commitment with something strange or odd. I was just failing my first subject ever. The professor was a dumb ass, I hate his subject. He was such a dumb ass. Coming from a public university the rules are very strict. I was unable to make any interchange with other universities due to having a failing subject. It was the first requirement. Dumb teacher. Fuck that guy. I wanted to go to France during my university time. I was learning French at the time. Learning French was a difficult topic, mom and dad did not have a dime to spare. Dad did not have a job; he was sleeping in his truck. Dad left Mexico 8 years ago. Mom was the only and main breadwinner. I needed to find the cheapest school to teach me French. I found one that for 50 bucks I have a class daily. Mayra was next to me while I was talking to the women in charge of receiving people to France. They were explaining to me that my university was not able to participate, and my nationality was a little more difficult. Behind me a fucking rich girl. She belonged to the most expensive university in Mexico. The women changed her tone and explained to her that Monterrey Institute of Technology had a special offer with a special scholarship. I felt my heart to be shattered into pieces. The envy consumed my soul. That was the last time I ever tried it out. I understand that choosing French and my dream was never going to come true. Leaving in France was not something able for me. I was 18 and dreaming to go to France, now I am 24 and my boss told me: “Yves, you can choose. Either Frankfurt or Paris. What do you want? I am letting you decide.” Arriving at the Charles de Gaulle Airport in France. I was hearing my favorite song of How I met your mother. A song that says: “Let your heartbeat fast”, after landing and getting outside the airplane I called my father. I know it is expensive. I know it is going to be weird, the time zone changes were going to affect his dream…but I need to say something out loud: “Dad I am in France. Your son made it. I am safe.” I am going to call him. I once pay 50 bucks of extra cell pone service due fuckingSpotify. Dad does not have WhatsApp or Facebook. I will call him to his cell phone and tell him. I am here and I am okay.It does not matter how much AT&T charges me. I am going to pay, but I want my voice to be heard by my dad. Dad started to cry at the San Antonio airport. He was proud. His first born was a grown man. A good engineer, even when he got no money, even when he was unable to provide, still his family turned out fine. Thanks dad.

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Rubric

How well were you able to follow the narrative and understand the "true" chronological sequence of events? Did any element seem confusing or out of place?

You did a great job of conveying the emotional highs and lows of your journey. However, the sequence of events was a bit hard to follow at times. For instance, the transition between your university struggles and your eventual success in France could be clearer. Consider using more transitional phrases or sentences to guide the reader through the timeline. Overall, your story is compelling, but a bit more clarity in the sequence would enhance the reader's experience.

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Did anything feel "missing" or otherwise "incomplete"? In other words, are there portions of the sequence of events you wish you had more information about?

Your narrative is engaging and heartfelt, but there are some areas where more detail would enhance the story. For example, more information about your journey learning French and the challenges you faced would provide a deeper understanding of your perseverance. Additionally, elaborating on your feelings and experiences during the pivotal moments, such as your decision to give up on your dream and later achieving it, would make the narrative more complete.